When in Doubt, Keep Leaning Toward God

When in Doubt, Keep Leaning Toward God

A doubting priest is an unlikely envoy of faith.

To show what He can do with faith the size of a mustard seed, God–not karma, nor fate, nor kismet, nor coincidences, nor the cosmos, nor the stars–permitted a series of experiences and events to converge on a late summer day 760 years ago.

A priest, known simply as Peter of Prague, doubted the Real Presence of the Lord in the Holy Eucharist. Aware that his soul was in jeopardy, he sought spiritual counseling and was advised to go on pilgrimage. Venturing from his native Bohemia, his sojourn ended and his encounter began in the breathtaking Tuscan valley town of Bolsena, Italy in St. Christina Chapel. When Fr. Peter uttered the words of Consecration, the host began exuding blood onto his hands. Upset and confused, he had the presence of mind to run to nearby Orvieto where Pope Urban IV lived most of the time.

An unlikely pope, Fr. Jacques Pantaleon was a priest and canon lawyer, who, after three months of contentious voting involving some jealous cardinals, was finally determined to be the successor of Peter as Pope Urban IV (Webster). Before that, he had been dispatched to address both ecclesial and political conflicts and recognized the seriousness of Fr. Peter who rushed to him in distress.

Orvietto Duomo

Whether He chooses a faltering priest from Prague, a young girl from Nazareth, an impulsive fisherman from Galilee, or a weary father from Cyrene, the Lord uses the most unlikely to help us see his most miraculous presence. How unlikely are you?

For Catholics, the Eucharistic miracle happens at each Mass. But some Catholics, for whatever reason, have a difficult time believing, and that is a problem. American Catholics are in the midst of a three-year Eucharistic Revival, planned by the US bishops, which will culminate next year. As a Christ-centered community, we need to uplift our brothers and sisters along this journey to belief.

We all are on a lifelong pilgrimage to the Source and Summit, and we’re all in different places along that road. When we come upon someone thirsting, we are called to be refreshment. I imagine that typically those words of incredulity are uttered not to spiritual directors, priests, or the pope, but more often during conversations in church kitchens as volunteers prepare a parish dinner, in small prayer groups, or over pizza on movie night. You may hear a Catholic say of the Real Presence, “Isn’t it just a symbol?” or “We’re not really expected to believe that!”

How are we to respond? Certainly not with a gasp, condescending disbelief, or placation. Nor should we dismiss it any more than we would shoo away a hungry child for someone else to feed. Rather, we meet the disbelief with understanding and acknowledgment of the problem. Gentle inquiry and an urging to speak of the misgiving in the privacy of the Confessional. Above all, in reassurance and fellowship that Jesus has and still calls the doubtful.

“Come and see,” Philip said to Nathaniel who challenged if anything good could come from Nazareth (cf. John 1:46). A believing disciple enlightened a cynic who came to know and love the Truth.

Our all-knowing, sweet Jesus also chose Thomas the Apostle. Even in his skepticism, Thomas wanted to pull Jesus to him when he demanded to put his finger in the wounds (cf. John 20:24-28). Jesus did not refuse him. He met him in his dubiety.

We know that in his questioning, Peter of Prague didn’t turn away from God in shame. Rather, he moved closer to Him in humility: “I believe; help my unbelief,” cried the father, begging Jesus for deeper devotion so his son could be made clean (cf. Mark 9:24). Fr. Peter wanted to be made clean too, first starting with awareness of his sin. Then he sought help from his spiritual director and took his advice for spiritual examination. When the Blood of Christ dripped from the host onto his hands, Peter ran to his pope. The accounts say that that Pope Urban IV absolved him, so we know he confessed to Jesus, in persona Christi through Pope Urban IV, and repented for his weak faith. Most likely, he prayed without ceasing and kept reaching for Christ.

Jesus said to the naysayers, “Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day; for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink.” (John 6:54-55). With those words, many left Him (cf. John 6:66).

Peter of Prague was different. So was Nathaniel. And Thomas. They voiced their apprehension but continued to advance toward the Light.

He wants us all. Allow him to find you. Let’s help our searching brothers and sisters allow him to find them too.

Copyright 2023 Mary McWilliams

Sources:

Webster, Douglas Raymund. “Pope Urban IV.” The Catholic Encyclopedia. Vol. 15. New York: Robert Appleton Company, 1912. 26 Jul. 2023 <http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/15212a.htm>.

Vogt, Brandon, editor. Word on Fire Bible: The Gospels. Park Riege, IL: Word on Fire Catholic Ministries, 2020.

Orvieto Duomo Image by Avantino Pergetti from Pixabay https://pixabay.com/photos/duomo-orvieto-church-gothic-italy-1368754/

Tuscan Valley Image by Sabine from Pixabay https://pixabay.com/photos/tuscany-city-architecture-travel-3356748/