black and white photo of soldiers cautiously walking with guns through a field Image by Rozbooy from Pixabay

A Christmas Wish

A Christmas Wish

I am writing to tell you about a story about an old veteran that I knew. He was a Vietnam veteran. I was assigned to the VA to be a counselor to these old warriors. There was one in particular that I remember that had it really hard. He had gone to jail under strange circumstances, and had some psychotic breaks, so I took an interest in him. This was about Christmastime.

I interviewed him one day about his life. He was born in Portland, OR. He had an uneventful childhood but his parents were middle class. He enlisted and was sent to Vietnam. He believed in the cause and wanted to prove himself.

When he went to combat it was nothing he expected.

“All the bombs, all the bullets, the Agent Orange, and the other chemical warfare,” he recalled.

“Are those memories troubling you?”

“No. That’s not all of it,” he said. “I ran. I was a coward.”

“So then,” I said, “how is it that you got convicted of aggravated assault?”

He said, “Well, when I got back home, I got a job as a mailman, but I drank heavily to cope. Maybe 5-6 drinks at night. One night I had the worst dream I was running away from the Viet Cong. And I heard my commander say, ‘Attack!’ and I didn’t want to fail again. So I went to my bar with my gun and I was going to shoot the Viet Cong. Well, it ended up I shot up the bar and injured some people.”

“Did you mean to kill anyone,” I asked.

He said, “I don’t remember because I blacked out. But I am a good shot, so if I meant to kill anyone, I would have done it. After that, I got sent to Oklahoma for jail for 6 years. It was the worst time of my life. I was there with people who meant to do harm and I was worried I might turn out like them.”

I said, “Well, it’s Christmastime, so I imagine if you had a Christmas wish, it would be you didn’t run from the Viet Cong.”

He said, “No, I wish I could meet my granddaughter. I had a brief relationship in Oregon, and in jail I found out she got pregnant with a girl and then recently she told me her daughter had a daughter. So that’s my Christmas wish to meet her.”

I asked permission to try to contact his daughter and he said yes. I was able to find her and asked if she would like to contact him and she did. After a few months I arranged a meeting but I found out our veteran was in the hospital with liver disease, so I thought about a short meeting and showing the child some military pictures and got one of Vietnam. The woman and her daughter came to the hospital.

“What’s your name,” he asked the little girl.

“Melanie,” she told him.

“What grade are you in?”

“Fifth.”  They talked about his life and her time in school and friends for a while. Then it was time to go.

Later, I got an email from the mother saying the child wanted to know what her grandfather did in the war. I emailed back the picture I had found. She asked if it was her grandad in the picture.

“Yes,” I said, “I’m sure it was him.”

Copyright 2025 Cecile Bianco

Edited by Mary McWilliams

Image by Rozbooy from Pixabay

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