clutterwordcollage

Spiritual Clutter…Is There Such A Thing?

 

There are many instances when I feel obligated to clean outside my normal daily housework. Some of the most popular reasons people do a deep clean are to welcome spring, prepare for a guest, entertain during the holidays, and declutter. 

At least twice a year, I feel the urge to purge. Sometimes, I focus on one home area, such as a closet or cabinet, while other times, I focus on an entire room. Emotions such as stress, anxiety, and sadness also trigger a massive cleaning response in me. These emotions often set me into a cleaning mode. 

Usually, a deep clean involves deciding whether to keep various unnecessary items, loading up the car, and delivering to a local donation center. I breathe a sigh of relief, and when I finish, I can sit back and enjoy the freshness of my home. 

I recently set my sights on cleaning my home office, which doubles as my prayer space. I worked from one end of the small room to the other, quickly realizing I had a lot of clutter. Sitting down in my rocker to pray and setting my coffee cup on the table beside me was a chore, as I had to move many items just to set the cup down.  

As a spiritual director, I have quite a collection of spiritual books, journals, prayer cards, etc., all of which hold special meanings. Some were gifts; others contained wisdom and reflections necessary to me and those I accompany on their spiritual journey. It is much easier for me to donate an old sweater than to let go of items related to my faith. 

 

“It is much easier for me to donate an old sweater than to let go of items related to my faith.”

 

I organized my items so that I didn’t need to donate them. When the Holy Spirit calls me to pass an item along to someone else, I set aside a pile for “gifting.” As I admired the newly decluttered room, I wondered if we could have so much physical clutter in our lives that it is possible to have spiritual clutter.

I considered what I gather when I sit down for prayer time: a Bible, journal, devotional, sometimes a candle and rosary, coffee or tea, a prayer card or two, a pen, and a highlighter. Oh, let’s not forget the holding cross or personal memento that brings me into focus. Then, I often use a prayer app or reflective music. 

After thinking about the many things I have considered as prayer time must-haves, I asked myself, did Jesus need all this when he prayed? Am I bringing spiritual clutter into my sacred space and personal time with God, and are these things impeding my connection to Him?

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying these prayer items are bad or unnecessary, but perhaps they have their time and place. If we look at that list again, it almost reads like someone conducting a Bible study class, not someone about to enter a sacred space with the Lord. 

So, how can we incorporate spiritual accessories in a way that does not interfere with our moments of prayer? The process will look different for everyone, as our styles are different. If you aim to use many or all of the items mentioned and it works for you, go for it. However, if you feel a prayerful connection is lacking, consider how to enter prayer and what external items you are taking along. 

When we enter prayer, already feeling cluttered, we bring these emotions with us, which can detract from completely opening our hearts to God. As we settle into this new year, take some time to evaluate your prayer space and routine. Take note of anything that brings you unease, feeling closed in, or frustration.  

You may be surprised to learn that to reach a deep prayerful connection, all God wants from you is you!  The accessories can be used to journal your emotions after your prayer time or for additional prayers aside from your meditations with scripture.  Be honest and only use what makes you feel connected to God. Make your prayer time with God count, have fun, and enjoy your moments of God’s Grace.  

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Kimberly Novak is a wife, mother, author, and spiritual director. Her passion for inspiring and motivating those on a spiritual journey has bloomed into various ministries. Kimberly’s mission is to enhance each journey by guiding others where the light of strength is…God’s love. Find out more about Kimberly’s life and work at www.kimberlynovak.com. Additionally, Kimberly welcomes prayer requests at A Little God Time.

 

©️ copyright 2025 Kimberly Novak

Edited by Janet Tamez

Cup of Tears, Cup of Joy

Cup of Tears, Cup of Joy

 

Twelve years ago, I was in the hospital, recovering from an atypical total knee replacement, and feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. My tears could have filled a cup, even though I was in a comfortable room, getting great medical care, and had plenty to eat and drink. What did I have to cry about? The pain? The dependency on others? The embarrassment?

When I caught sight of the TV screen just inches away from the crucifix, I stopped crying: I watched a commercial with an emaciated woman clinging to her skeleton-like baby as she reached forward with an old tin cup in her hand. Dehydrated and dying, this woman was holding out hope and joy that her cup would be filled with milk for her child.  

Fast-forward to a month ago when I joined my cousins in one of many shanty towns in Cebu, Philippines, to distribute school supplies, clothing, and treats for the children. As we navigated leaving along the narrow pathway, I spotted a little girl with toothpick limbs as she stopped to drizzle water over her bare feet from a makeshift spigot before she entered one of the shacks. She smiled amid the stench and garbage, happily holding her “gifts.”

As I think of Christ on the Crucifix and the suffering He endured out of love for each of us, I remember the joy of a fragile mother and an impoverished child and feel somewhat ashamed of the tears I shed over so many seemingly trivial trials. God gets me, and I am consoled by the Psalmist’s conviction:

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” —Psalm 147:3

My prayer is to cultivate the strength to give up my cup of privileged tears and replace them with a cup full of joy and gratitude taught by a mother and a young child. As the new year progresses, may your cup of tears be filled also with hope, joy, and gratitude.

“…weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” —Psalm 30:5

© Paula Veloso Babadi 2025

Edited by Gabriella Batel

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When she is not playing pickleball or “Nana,” Paula Veloso Babadi cooks, gardens, and writes poetry and short personal essays. You can find her first book-length collection, Everywhere Hope, on Amazon.

Earthly Acts of Spiritual Love

Earthly Acts of Spiritual Love

‘Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.’ (1 Cor. 13:7)

If everything we have known from personal experience and from knowledge of history tells us that all human lives are entwined with suffering, then why are we so surprised by the persistent presence of that pain, and why do we expect, even demand that it go away?

We have within our deepest hearts a hidden and vague knowledge that the way the world is now is not how it once was, nor how it ought to be. That secret knowledge stirs conflict within us.

As a psychotherapist working in medical settings, many of my clients experience suffering due to debilitating diseases, disabling conditions, chronic mental illnesses, substance use disorders, and, too often, the gradual erosion of close personal and family relationships. Psychotherapy can help foster fortitude and resilience in contending with all the things that can afflict a client. But the need for fortitude and resilience is not limited to persons in
psychotherapy. All persons experience loss, adversity, injustice, and painful events in life. How could it be anything else, considering we journey through a fallen world of sin, where sickness and death beset everyone?

Our modern inclination is to think of the presence of pain as a mistake, as something to blame someone else for, as something that can and should always be removed or remedied. Many of the difficulties of daily life can and ought to be corrected, and of course, we should strive to resolve our problems and give aid and comfort others who suffer. But the existence of pain represents more than simple error or misunderstanding. Some pain can be alleviated, and yet, sometimes pain must be borne – because it is an unavoidable element of life in a fallen world, not because we are morbid or weak or masochistic.

In the beginning, God and the human person walked together in harmony. Yet, since the cataclysmic events in Eden, we are heavily hampered by hardship. The entire story of the Bible is the tale of how God has responded to the consequences of what occurred in Eden. The Bible would not exist if Adam and Eve had not fallen. All of sacred Scripture relates the story of God’s actions to guide and rescue his children who are dwelling in darkness
and shadowed by death.

Jesus took upon himself the abominable scope of pain in this sin-filled world, to show us how to bear it, while still keeping faith beyond sight, while simultaneously bearing with every other person compassionately, because they, like ourselves, are caught in this web of painful sin-tainted darkness,
and we are each on the way in search of His kingdom. Some might say, “Why doesn’t God bring this messed up world to an end, and just sweep
away all the pain and bring lasting joy in its place? If He really was good, that’s what he would do now!”

But, when were you hoping for him to replace His plan with yours? His timing with yours? Sometime long ago, before you were born, perhaps? Or before your children, or grandchildren, or great, great grandchildren have had the chance to come into this world? Do you know what part the people yet to be born might play in His greater plan? Maybe we can shoulder the situation as it is and strive to do our part to bring goodness into the world.

God pointed out to St. Paul that humble and courageous acts of faith and love will light the path of our feet through the rubble and the trouble of life.
In his first letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul shines a light on deeper dimensions of love. He surprises his readers with the suggestion that it is love that bears, believes, hopes, and endures all of the challenging things of life on earth. Quite often, love is considered to be movements of emotions, yet St. Paul shows how love engages the activities of will. Through all the hard and the cold and the unfair and unknown things of this life, it is these willful acts
of love that will guide our way.

Bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring are not simply aspects of love. They are the key actions of love. Yet these particular acts of love are limited to our time on earth and are not elements of how love will be known in heaven. One will no longer need to bear or to endure pain, anguish, or injustice in heaven, because those things don’t exist there. One will not need to believe in what is invisible, or to hope for what is beyond the known, because all the things hoped for and believed in will be fully known and revealed in heaven.

But here, now, while we still live in a body and are under the sway of concupiscence, we have available to us the essential tools of spiritual love: bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring. Jesus, and our blessed Mother, and the saints, have shown us by their example how to practice earthly acts of love.

copyright 2025 Tom Medlar

Announcing Alzheimer’s

Announcing Alzheimer’s

By Lisa Livezey

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what any day may bring forth.

– Proverbs 27:1 (NAB)

I stopped by my parents’ split-level suburban home for a quick visit and Mom met me at the door. “Lisa, I have ALZHEIMERS!!!!” she pronounced with angst. Dad stood in the background smiling tenderly.

The news was no surprise. In fact, Mom had announced her diagnosis to me three times already.

In a flash moment, I considered Mom’s exemplary life. She was a faithful wife, mother and grandmother, a registered nurse, volunteer librarian, had taken in foster children, kept an immaculate, organized home, and even led Bible studies.  She doted on her grandchildren, who hold happy memories of time spent at “Gigi and Pop’s” house along with weekends camping in the mountains.

Now at age 82, Mom was descending from the mountains and gazing despairingly upon the wilderness of Alzheimer’s disease.  For one so capable, no doubt the future appeared bleak and scary.

Giving her a hug, I said, “Don’t worry, Mom. It’ll be okay.”  Surely God would provide the daily help she needed, just as He had during her more productive years.

I knew Mom was in good hands with Dad’s stabilizing presence beside her. He capably handled Mom’s health issues and certainly would be her continued comfort and guide amidst the changing landscape of her brain.

Lord, Thank you for today. I know not what tomorrow holds, so help me to trust You with the future.

Reflect: Think about loved ones in your life who are experiencing change due to age or illness and offer up a prayer for each one.

 

The author’s parents, Christmas 2016, six months
before “Announcing Alzheimer’s” took place

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The above blog piece is the Prologue in Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey (© 2024, En Route Books and Media)

Minding Mom: A Caregiver’s Devotional Story by Lisa Livezey | En Route Books and Media

Listen to the audio version of “Announcing Alzheiemer’s” read by the author.

 

Copyright 2025 Lisa Livezey

Mother Seton, Elizabeth Ann Seton at Emmittsburg, Maryland

What are you looking for?

“The two disciples heard what he said and followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following him and said to them, ‘What are you looking for?’” John 1:38

 

My favorite hymn when I was a child was, Here I Am, Lord. I loved the rhythm and the simple prose, and I thought the sentiment behind the words was lovely even if I didn’t quite understand their importance. As an adult, the song continues to be my favorite hymn, and it brings tears to my eyes every single time I hear it. Though I still love the music and the words, it’s the deeper meaning that gets to me now. Jesus asks us to serve, and we need to respond like Samuel and the Apostles, ready to answer and do His will.

Awaiting God’s Call

This month, we celebrate the feast day of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, our first American-born saint. Two of my three daughters graduated from Mount St. Mary’s in Emmitsburg, Maryland. Emmitsburg was the home and final resting place of Mother Seton. Mother Seton to Emmitsburg moved in 1809, where she founded the Sisters of Charity of St. Joseph’s, the first community for religious women established in the United States. It was in Emmitsburg where she also began St. Joseph’s Academy and Free School, the beginning of Catholic education in the United States. 

Before becoming a nun, Elizabeth was a wife and mother. She was not Catholic but was very religious. While nursing her sick husband in Italy, she learned about Catholicism from friends who lived there and was intrigued by the Church and its sacred traditions. The more she learned and attended Mass, the more she felt called to become Catholic.

Hearing God’s Call

Years, later, she heard the call to become a nun, and later, she heard the call to found the order and the school in Emmitsburg. 

Mother Seton wrote, “We know certainly that our God calls us to a holy life. We know that he gives us every grace, every abundant grace; and though we are so weak of ourselves, this grace is able to carry us through every obstacle and difficulty.”

Many generations before Mother Seton, Jesus asked Andrew and John, “What are you looking for?” (John 1:38) They immediately followed Him, asking where He was staying. Then they sought others and encouraged them to join as well (Andrew’s brother, Simon, John’s brother, James, and Andrew’s friend, Phillip). Without hesitating, they answered Jesus’ question with their actions. 

Jesus still asks this question, but so many fail to hear it or understand from whom it comes. So many of us spend our lives searching for meaning, for happiness, for belonging when Jesus openly and willingly offers us all that and more. When faced with Jesus’ question, we look for the answer in other people, in media and entertainment, or in addictions, and often overlook the most basic, most obvious places—Holy Scripture, the Mass, the Church. It was in the Church, at Mass, and through the sacraments that Mother Seton heard the call to convert, to become a nun, to serve, and to teach.

Answering God’s Call

We, too, are being called. We can hear God’s voice each time we attend Mass, go to Confession, or seek the Lord in Adoration. He is calling out to us to help Him build His Kingdom, to serve, to teach, and to bring others to Him.

Listen for the voice of Jesus in your daily life. Shut out the noise and the distractions. Be alert and awake. He is asking, “What are you looking for?” All you need to do is answer in the same way Mother Seton did, “Here am I, Lord; I come to do your will,” (1 Samuel 3:8, Psalm 40:9). “Speak, for your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:10).

Let us pray, “Oh my God, forgive what I have been, correct what I am, and direct what I shall be” (St. Elizabeth Seton). Amen.

 

copyright 2025 Amy Schisler

Edited by Heather Gaffney

Bunnies and Bulbs

Bunnies and Bulbs

My parish recently hosted a Day of Reflection for parents and catechists. We had a good turnout of a couple hundred folks, with a keynote speaker in the morning and breakout workshops in the afternoon. I led one of the afternoon workshops, and I started off by posting a big picture on the screen of a cute, furry bunny sitting in emerald green grass, surrounded by a bunch of beautifully decorated Easter eggs.

Turning to the audience, I asked, “Why do we see bunnies at Easter?  Turn and talk to each other at your tables for a few minutes.”

There was a hum of conversation as everyone discussed this pretty simple question. When the chatter started to taper off, I asked if anyone wanted to share what they had come up with. A few people raised their hands.

“Bunnies are signs of new life,” one person said.

“Yes, new life,” agreed the next person.

“Bunnies remind us of Jesus’ new life at the resurrection,” another added.

I moved on to the next photo, posting a photo of a beautiful cluster of lilies and daffodils.

“How about this photo?” I asked again. “Why do we see lilies and spring flowers at Easter?”

Once again, I gave everyone an opportunity to chat with their neighbors, before drawing some responses from the group.

“Lilies are signs of new life.”

“They’re like the bunnies. They’re signs of new life.”

And herein lies a problem that I’ve spent a lot of energy trying to address. The answers everyone gave weren’t “wrong;” they are just only halfway there.

Now, to be clear, I found no fault in the people who were there that day. Everyone who attended had been willing to spend their free time, an entire Saturday, up at church in order to hopefully learn a little, grow a bit in their faith and be part of a community.  In many cases, they were also catechists at their parishes, leading the Faith Formation classes and trying to inspire and develop the next generation of Catholics.  I greatly appreciated their generosity of spirit. In fact, I would even say I found their presence there enormously commendable.

The problem that remains, though, is that we no longer know how to speak what Pope St. John Paul II called “our original language,” or read what St. Thérèse of Lisieux referred to as the “Book of Nature.”  What was once as easy and natural as breathing now involves labor and thought. We, the inheritors of original sin, not to mention the Enlightenment, now routinely think in terms of physical and spiritual.  What we can see, touch, hear, taste and smell is in one camp and what we cannot see, touch, hear, taste, or smell, but nevertheless believe in, is in another camp. So, bunnies and chicks and flowers that bloom in spring act as pointers towards new life, because, well, they didn’t exist before and now they do. They are new life. But that’s only such a very small part of their story.

We can call these bits of matter Easter symbols, not just Easter pointers, signs or reminders, because that is what they really are. A symbol not only points to something else, but it also incorporates that something else within itself. It makes present what it points to, in its own way. You probably already knew that.

So, if we revisit the earlier question, “Why do we use bunnies at Easter?” we might answer it by saying something like “Because they show us something true and real about what happened at Jesus’ resurrection. They teach us something deep and profound about this ‘new life.’” What might that be?

Bunnies are attracting. They invite us to come in closer. We want to pick them up and snuggle them, maybe put them in a pocket and carry them around. They breathe softly. We love their little noses and long ears. They are simply delightful, in and of themselves, and if they also happen to be on some beautiful, emerald green grass, under a cornflower blue sky, we suddenly feel that the world itself is full of color and inspiration and possibility; that there just might very well exist a place, somewhere, where bunnies can live without fear of being attacked by something big with sharp teeth. And if that might be the case for bunnies, might it not also be the case for people? The idea that there might be a place or a way where we can live in peace, free from fear, in the midst of creation, is at the very heart of Jesus’ resurrection. Our faith tells us that not only is that possible in the next life, but that Jesus’ physically resurrected (not just reanimated or ghostly) human body, assures us that the beginning of this place has begun here, now, on this earth.

Just like bunnies are delightful, in and of themselves, so, too, is the new life Jesus offers us, because the new life IS Jesus, who is, in and of himself, attracting and inviting.

Closeup of some lovely white Easter lilies.

We can try the same exercise with lilies.  What do they teach us about Jesus’ resurrection?  If we think of the life cycle of a lily, we know that it spends most of its life in a very unimpressive state, as a funny looking ovalish, brownish bulb, stuck down in the earth, out of sight. For most of its life, a bulb doesn’t look like anything is going on at all. But then, suddenly, something happens. It starts to put out feelers and sends out small shoots. Those shoots eventually break through the surface and keep on growing. Finally, each bulb erupts into a truly spectacular flower, a blossom so magnificent that we have to stop and stare at it. We have to drink it in, memorize it and photograph it. Bulbs teach us that just because we can’t see the inner life of grace working doesn’t mean that it is not there. It just hasn’t matured yet. Bulbs remind us of our true end, as persons with resurrected bodies, of blossoming into those fantastic flowers from a simple little brown bulb. Again, not only do we anticipate this in the next life, but we know that some of the saints have moved into this type of state while they were on earth. Jesus’ bursting forth from his tomb, trampling over death, is like the remarkable flower that bursts forth from the tomb of the bulb. Like the flowers from bulbs, the resurrection is not a small, meager, easily overlooked thing. Instead, it is huge and unbelievably magnificent.

All of the symbols we use throughout Easter, as well as through the year, point to a deeper meaning especially when they are connected to a liturgical season. This, ultimately, is what Scripture is proclaiming when it says “The heavens declare the glory of God; the firmament proclaims the works of his hands. Day unto day pours forth speech, night unto night whispers knowledge,” (Psalm 19:2-3) all without speech, words or voices.

So let me ask you the same question: What do bunnies, eggs, chicks and lilies teach you about the new life we celebrate at Easter? And more importantly, how will the new life of the resurrection burst forth in your own life, here, now, in this season of Easter 2024?

 

©Copyright 2024 by Sarah Pedrozo

Images from iStock

 

 

Saint Joseph: A Man for All Women

Saint Joseph: A Man for All Women

Forget all your impressions and expectations of the “leading man” or “action hero.” Only one man can truly be described as the “strong, silent type.” For all the winning generals in history, it was a humble carpenter who outwitted the evil King Herod, putting an end to the plan to disrupt salvation history. For all the outstanding preachers and theologians who so deftly interpret the word of God, just one groom waiting for his betrothed to enter his home understood so clearly and personally God’s messages to him and the world. For all the loving husbands past and present, one cherished his wife’s purpose and mission so much he made it his own. Out of all the devoted fathers who ever lived, only one was chosen to successfully raise and protect the Savior of the World.

That’s why St. Joseph, spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary, foster father to the Son of God, and head, provider, and protector of the Holy Family is not just a man’s man, but a woman’s man―at every stage, difficulty, and season of her life.

Scripture presents St. Joseph as a man of faith and action. In Meet Your Spiritual Father, author Mark Miravalle lists 13 “major New Testament references” to his life (pp 25-26). St. Joseph’s success in all these life and death missions can be boiled down to a knowledge of Scripture and love of God, which gave him the willingness and confidence to act. Unlike the young Samuel who did not know the Lord and therefore, did not recognize His voice when He repeatedly called him (cf. 1 Samuel 3:7), God’s word through His messenger angels provided clarity to St. Joseph to respond immediately (cf. Mt 1:20-25, Mt 2:13-15).

St. Joseph, therefore, is a great intercessor, leading women to clarity for action and to delve into the Word of God. He brings devotees ultimately to know and hear God’s voice. The Litany of St. Joseph provides no fewer than 24 roles and wonders this great and underappreciated man is known for, all of which are beautifully and comprehensively detailed in Fr. Donald Calloway’s book, Consecration to St. Joseph.

St. Joseph was the strength center of his family. Women―single and married, with children and without, who are providers, protectors, and caretakers―are also often expected to be the strength center of their lives. In the most supportive of environments, parenting takes wisdom, patience and many other virtues that few of us have even on a good day. Many mothers are the head of the family. St. Joseph, ever the provider and protector of the Holy Family, listened for and heeded the Divine messages he received. He knew that the Father would lead him; he just needed to listen. It could only be Joseph’s unyielding devotion to the Lord and study of scripture that led him without hesitation to listen to the angel who spoke to him in a dream, understanding its significance to mankind (cf. Matthew 1:21-23).

Single women who desire to be married can ask for St. Joseph’s intercession to find a good man. God chose Joseph specifically for Mary. He wants to choose a good man for each woman, but He wants to be asked. Single women can ask St. Joseph to pray on their behalf to the Holy Spirit to reveal and discern when the right man comes along. St. Joseph saw Mary’s grace-filled and sinless soul, and his prayerful intercession can help women see themselves as the beautiful and pure souls that God created.

Women who are without fathers, either through abandonment or death, can find comfort in St. Joseph. God entrusted him to care for the Blessed Virgin and the Son of God. If he can take care of them, he can take care of every girl feeling the loss of her father. Any girl or woman who misses her father can ask St. Joseph to be her foster father and help lead her to the Father of us all.

Aging raises uncomfortable issues―added dependence on family and strangers, financial strain, and health difficulties. Thoughts, not just of dying, but how we will die become more prominent. These are frightening thoughts as we relinquish more control over our daily lives. St. Joseph lived his life with chastity and dignity. Pray for his guidance entering later years, to look upon a life with humility and benevolence, seek the peace of Jesus Christ with the assistance of a strong confessor, and to prepare for a happy death.

St. Joseph, pray for us women.


Copyright 2024 Mary McWilliams

Photo: Stained glass window of Mary & Joseph by Valentine D’Ogries. Photo by Mary McWilliams

References:
Consecration to Saint Joseph. Donald H. Calloway, MIC. 2020, Marian Press. Stockbridge, MA.
Meet Your Spiritual Father: A Brief Introduction to St. Joseph. Mark Miravalle. 2015, Lighthouse Media, Sycamore, IL & Marian Press, Stockbridge, MA.

The Power of a Smile

The Power of a Smile

When my kiddos were young, the local YMCA was a saving grace. My four daughters, ages four and under, loved playing in the childcare area almost as much as I loved a chance to pee uninterrupted. My mom-friends also belonged to the Y, so it was as much a playdate for me as it was for the kids.

At the YMCA, I learned that I do actually enjoy working out when it’s not a mandatory school class. I took various group classes that met my social needs and allowed me to try new exercises with no pressure or obligation. I remember especially fondly that if it weren’t for the YMCA, I may not have showered at all when my husband traveled for work. My twins are cute, but I couldn’t take my eyes off them for a minute!

Naturally, when I learned that my husband’s job was moving us to a new state, one of the first things I searched for was if our new town had a YMCA. To my great relief, it did. I’m fairly sure the girls and I trekked over there to become members on our second day there.

But everything was wrong with the new Y. My kids were scared of the new childcare area because they didn’t know the staff yet. They didn’t offer my favorite exercise classes. The cardio room was separate from the weights room, and both felt cramped: the building was regularly crowded, and my preferred machines weren’t available; I had to sign up for a turn on the cardio equipment and could only do thirty minutes at a time.

The worst part was how unfriendly everyone was, from the staff to my fellow patrons. I didn’t know anyone, and no one talked to me. Aside from a quick greeting as I dropped off my kids in the childcare area, I wouldn’t speak to a single person. I distinctly remember feeling profoundly alone while surrounded by people. They just weren’t my people.

One day, while I moped around the YMCA, bemoaning how I didn’t have any friends or even get a friendly smile, I realized the fault was mine. I recognized that from the moment I put the car in park, I hung my head and only looked at the ground. It was no wonder no one ever smiled at me. I didn’t give a single person I passed the opportunity.

At that moment, something changed in me. I decided to not be the reason for my own misery. I decided to lift my head, look everyone I passed in the eye, and smile. The most amazing thing happened: people smiled back.

I felt less alone from that day forward, not because I immediately made friends (which, I’m sad to report, didn’t happen overnight) but because I was connecting with other human beings. God created us in His image and likeness, and He created us for relationships. We aren’t meant to go through this life alone.

I learned some valuable lessons from that experience, the most notable being that I am responsible for my behavior. I can’t begrudge the unfriendliness of others when I don’t make the effort myself; something as small and simple as a smile can make a huge difference.

When I walk around looking people in the eyes and smiling, my soul is transformed. Even if I’m struggling and my life isn’t as simple and easy as I’d like, when I smile, I allow the joy that Christ offers to penetrate into my heart. What’s more, my smile is returned more often than not with a smile from a stranger’s face, further filling my soul with happiness.

These days, I don’t have to think about it: I’m always smiling. I love looking at other people and greeting them warmly. Each person I pass is a fellow creation of God, and I am blessed to be in her or his company. My kids often comment on how friendly I am—I get a chance to remind them that every person we pass has dignity and worth, regardless of her or his outward appearance. In this small, simple way, I get to share Christ’s joy with others.

If you’re feeling down or isolated, the most powerful tool you have requires only a few muscles in your face. It’s guaranteed to make you feel better, and chances are, your joy will spill into the strangers you pass. All you have to do is smile.

©Maria Riley 2024

Stumble onto a Forgotten Priest’s Homilies, and Wind Up in a Successfully Reflective Lent

Ever feel like you’ve failed Lent? You enter the season ambitiously on Ash Wednesday, receiving the smudged cross on your forehead, determined to read through the New Testament or Exodus at a measured pace, only to get stuck on a confusing passage and give up … for now.

A local parish offers an evening Bible study, but when the day comes, you’re too exhausted from work. Maybe next week, you think, but then the six weeks go by and you’ve missed the whole thing. You try online reflections, but you just breeze through them over morning coffee. You chastise yourself for being undisciplined or for refusing to take your spiritual life seriously. But maybe you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. A more relaxed approach, such as leisurely readings by a forgotten, but once beloved priest could deepen your faith, self-reflection, and ultimately your relationship with God.

Fr. Ronald Knox is little known to 21st Century Americans in favor of other popular English converts such as St. John Henry Newman and GK Chesterton, but in his time, Fr. Knox was regarded as one of the most influential and prolific Catholics of the past century. He is a contemporary of Chesterton and an Oxford neighbor of CS Lewis, and February 17 marks the 136th anniversary of his birth. Raised in the Anglican tradition, even becoming an Anglican minister, the good father followed in his country’s stead, not because he believed it was the perfect way, but because he wanted to bring the Church of England back to Rome. When he realized his ambition was futile, he converted to Catholicism at the still tender age of 29.

Fr. Knox was much sought after as a speaker, preacher, and retreat facilitator for his way of bringing depth to simple concepts and simplicity to the profound. His self-deprecating humor, orthodox theology, and insight into the human condition found its way into countless published homilies, broadcasts on the BBC, and even detective novels. He is also highly respected for his English translation of the Bible, known as the Knox Bible.

One collection of his homilies that might elude a mainstream audience is his title, The Priestly Life. Originally published in 1958 and re-released in 2023 by Cluny Media, this compilation of 16 retreat talks addressed to priests could just as easily be called The Saintly Life because it speaks to the saintliness we are all called to live. With the wisdom of a compassionate confessor, Fr. Knox, who seems to know what’s inside the flawed heart that yearns to be whole, begins with the Alpha and Omega framed in Biblical history, then gently leads the reader (or listener, originally) to realize his sinful nature, bringing him to humility and repentance. Catholic theologian and author John Janaro quotes Evelyn Waugh’s in a 2021 essay, calling the priest and his ministry an “apostolate of laughter and the love of friends” (Janaro).

His chapters in The Priestly Life address so many of the “No, not me” sins: sloth, apathy, grumbling and complaining, blaming. In “Murmuring,” he engages the reader with a compelling story of the Israelites venting and complaining about Moses and God. You read along, nodding and chuckling, amazed how much they sound like your co-workers. He goes on to explain why the grumbling, a “very difficult sin to avoid,” is a three-fold sin against God, neighbor, and self and realize, “That’s me!” and feel an urgency to go to Confession.

“Part of the reason why God put you into the world was to exercise the patience of others by your defects; think of that sometimes when you are going to bed” (pg. 81).

He speaks to his brother priests in “Accidie” about a “tepidity” of spiritual life. “What I mind about is not so much that I seem to get so little out of my religion, but that I seem to put so little into it. Or perhaps I should put it this way: what I mind about is that I should mind so little” (pg. 90). He also addresses a type of malaise, of going through the motions. The scenarios sound much like ruts that most everyone, at some point and in honest moments, experiences in marriage, work, and life in general. “All of the savour has gone out of his priesthood; he sometimes thinks, even out of his religion. Was he, perhaps, not meant to be a priest … is it possible that he has made a mistake?” (pg. 89).

Fr. Knox, in other chapters, addresses perseverance, death and obedience. In his piece on the Blessed Mother, he eschews “Mariology” and sounds more like a loyal knight honoring his heroine queen. While each chapter serves as retreat on its own, they also impart an appreciation into a priest’s very human life by which we might gain more compassion and understanding of a demanding and sacrificial choice, Wouldn’t that help make a successful Lent?


Copyright 2024 Mary McWilliams

Knox, Ronald. The Priestly Life. 2023. Cluny Media. Providence, Rhode Island.
Janaro, John. Monsignor Ronald Knox. 2021. Magnificat. Catholic Education Resource Center.
Photo Credits: Keegan Houser and Eduardo Braga

Roses and Ashes

Gather ye Rose-buds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.

 Robert Herrick, “To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time” 1648

In a rare, but not unprecedented, synchronicity this month, St. Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday will fall on the same day. These two dates last came together in 2018, and they will do it again in 2029. According to the Fayetteville Observer, this convergence seems to happen approximately three times in every one-hundred-years. The Twentieth Century also recorded three occurrences, in 1923, 1934, and 1945. (1)

The origins of our contemporary St. Valentine’s Day celebration are hidden in history. Even Roman Catholic sources record an astounding variety, of what can perhaps best be regarded as legends. He may have been a priest, a bishop, and/or a physician. It’s unclear whether the stories that have been combined under this saint’s name include the life one man, or the lives of two.

There is some evidence that, on an actual occasion, a prisoner named Valentine left a letter for his jailer’s daughter signed, “from your Valentine.” He’s said to have healed the child of her blindness; we all prefer to believe he did. He may well have converted her to Christianity. He might have converted her father, too. Plausible evidence does exist that a man named Valentine was imprisoned and martyred for his Christian faith. Other tales suggest that the little girl, and possibly her father, died with him. (2)

One fact is clear, that the official liturgical calendar of the United States makes no reference to a saint’s feast on February 14. On the USCCB website, it’s marked only with a purple dot indicating a day of Lent. There is no alternate reading for a saint’s feast day. (3)

Another mystery is how a saint, whom most legends report died as a martyr for his Faith, came to be a symbol of chocolate, flowers, and every other sort of indulgent romantic concupiscence.

Ash Wednesday, on the other hand, is a reminder of the death we all will experience. The Latin counsel memento mori, “remember you will die,” dates back to the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, from sometime before his death in 399 B.C. (4).

The use of ashes as a symbol of penance and anointing for death by the Hebrews is documented in the Old Testament books of Esther 4:1, 484-465 B.C.; Job 42:6, 700-500 B.C.; Daniel 9:3, circa 550 B.C.; and Jonah 3:5-6, circa 500 B.C. (5)

Eleanor Fortescue-Brickdale, Illustration from The Book of Old English Songs and Ballads, Circa 1920; Public
domain, via Wikimedia Commons

A solemn recognition of Ash Wednesday has been practiced since the earliest days of Christianity. The words, “For you are dust, and to dust you shall return,” from Genesis 3:19 (6), have been spoken through millennia in both the Eastern and Roman Catholic churches. They are still used for Ash Wednesday services in many Protestant churches today, as well. 

But the question remains. What meaning can we discern from this mysterious union of love with death, that seems to appear as a trinity in multiple centuries?

For one answer, we might turn again to scripture, and discover that Song of Songs is the only one of three writings classified by biblical scholars as ‘Wisdom books’ that appears in Protestant bibles. Our Catholic Bibles contain all three, with the Book of Wisdom and the Book of Sirach included (7). Here is another trinity.

The Song, also called Canticle of Canticles, is a romantic poem that evokes all the sensual joys of earthly lovers, as metaphors that describe God’s desirous love for us. In Christian churches it is read as allegory (8). The determination of the bride to reach her lover, and the strength of their bond, represent the Sacrament of Matrimony on earth and Christ’s love for His Bride, the Church, in eternity.

When the cross of ashes, death, and dust is marked on our foreheads again this year — and the day wavers from joy, to penance, and grief — may we remember the powerful lover who awaits us, and continue to sing the Canticle:

“… Set me as a seal upon your heart,

as a seal upon your arm;

For Love is strong as Death …

Deep waters cannot quench love,

nor rivers sweep it away …

 … You who dwell in the gardens,

my companions are listening for your voice–

let me hear it!

Swiftly, my lover,

be like a gazelle or a young stag

upon the mountain of spices.”

Song (Cant.) 8:6-7, 13-14 (9)

John William Waterhouse, Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May; 1909, Public domain, via Wikimedia
Commons.

© Copyright 2024 by Margaret King Zacharias

Featured Photo: John William Waterhouse, Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May,1908, Public domain, via
Wikimedia Commons.
Footnotes for Roses and Ashes and Sources for Further Reading
  1. https://www.fayobserver.com/story/news/live-wire/2018/02/06/live-wire-when-was-last-time-ash-wednesday-and-valentines-day-were-same-date/15307391007/#
  1. For a few different perspectives, see:
https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/will-the-real-st-valentine-please-stand-up
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Saint-Valentine
https://www.catholiceducation.org/en/culture/catholic-contributions/history-of-st-valentine.html
  1. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/021424.cfm
  2. https://dailystoic.com/what-is-memento-mori/#:~:text=Memento%20Mori%20—%20(Latin%3A%20remember,but%20dying%20and%20being%20dead.”
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Socrates
  1. https://catholicstraightanswers.com/what-are-the-origins-of-ash-wednesday-and-the-use-of-ashes/
  1. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/genesis/3
  1. https://www.artesianministries.org/bible-study/why-are-catholic-and-protestant-bibles-different/
  1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Song_of_Songs
9. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/songofsongs/8