suspense – Catholic Writers Guild

IT MAKES SENSE TO ME

by Larry Peterson

I guess the first time I realized that something was really wrong was about a year and a half ago. I have a bedroom I turned into an office, and I was sitting at the keyboard clicking away. I sensed someone behind me and turned to see my wife, Marty, standing there. She had a strange look on her face. I remember the moment because fear was etched across her face. “Hey,” I said. “What’s the matter?”

Then I noticed she was trembling. I stood up and went over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. She stammered and sort of whispered, “I don’t know. I think I need your help.”

“Okay, what is it?”

Marty turned and headed down the hall past the living room and into the kitchen. I followed and noticed that she had her “cookie” stuff out. As she had done so many times in the past, she was about to make the best old fashioned, home-made, chocolate-chip cookies I have ever had. Like a child, I said, “Oh, awesome, you’re making cookies. So, how can I help?”

She sighed and shook her head. She began to cry and, looking at me, said, ” What is all this? I don’t know what it is for?”

The woman who had made thousands upon thousands of these cookies over the years had no memory of previously doing what she had done so many times before. She had placed the needed supplies on the counter and went to use the bathroom. When she returned a few minutes later, what had been virtually second nature to her had been erased from her mind. It was all gone.

She had come back to me for help because she KNEW something was terribly wrong inside her head, and this time the sudden, specific memory loss was scaring the hell out of her. She sobbed, “What is happening to me?”

She had been sick with Lymphoma since 2011. She had endured numerous cycles of chemotherapy to fight the disease. Anesthesia, required because of surgery in August (needed to repair a broken ankle), and an attack of A-Fib (Atrial Fibrillation) in September exacerbated the cognitive dysfunction. She was officially diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s Disease* on September 28. And now we are approaching our first Christmas together with Alzheimer’s as our unwanted Christmas guest.

Guess what? It is OK. He will not ruin our Christmas. He is welcome to join us. That is because we have started to laugh again, more and more. And we are laughing at the insanity of living in Alzheimerville. And trust me, it can get quite wacky.

I have always had a bit of a flip attitude. It probably has helped me get through some tough times. So when Marty goes to the cardiologist and goes to sign in and cannot remember her name she looks at me for help. I smile and say, “Who cares Lucy, they know who you are. Just put down Lucille Ball.” She starts to laugh and I laugh and I write her name down for her. Not an issue.

The past ten years of her life seem to have literally vanished from her brain. She does not remember us getting married. (We were both widowed and married eight years ago. She has no clue.) So she asks me if we are really married. I show her our marriage license and pictures from our wedding. She is shocked. “I can’t believe it, ” she says. We really ARE married.”

Now, every night I say to her, “Okay, we can sleep together tonight. It’s not a sin.” She always laughs at that.

There are so many little, extraordinary things that happen every day. Being asked the same question over and over can become unnerving. I have turned it around to where I start by giving her the answer. For example, she asks me ten times a day, “How do you feel today?” After a few times I answer, “Today I feel like seeing you and that makes my day shiny.” It is a ridiculous answer but she likes it and I like it too.

I cannot count the things that have been moved to the strangest places. I have found the Parmesan cheese in the towel closet, unwashed clothes in the dryer. She makes coffee and tells me it is the worst coffee she ever had and I should let her make it. She has hair curlers that keep vanishing. I have found them in the garage, in the refrigerator, and under the kitchen sink. We had been searching for them and when I found them in the refrigerator I said loudly, “Here they are.”

She was standing nearby and turned to see me lifting the bag from next to the milk. I quickly asked, “Can I use these for curly fries?” I began to laugh and she shook her head and smiled. I gave her a hug, opened the freezer door and tossed the curlers in. “They are not frozen enough,” I said. She began to laugh and so did I and, although shrouded in a dark moment, we laughed our way into the brightness of a new moment.

Marty has been captured and imprisoned by the most insidious of diseases. It is like a computer virus slowly deleting what is in memory. So far the last ten years are gone. That cursor is still clicking delete, delete, delete. The day will come when she will not even know who I am. I will do my best to keep her laughing and smiling as long as I can, and as long as she understands why we laugh.

As for me, I must admit, this entire situation has been wearing me down. There is a lot to do as a caregiver. I traveled a similar road with my first wife, Loretta, who died 12 years ago from cancer. She was sick a long time, but she never lost brain function. That is a very difficult thing to deal with 24/7. But you do what you have to do. If a man and a woman love each other that is the way it should be, HAPPY to be there for each other, no matter what. We both took vows before God and man to that effect and, for me, they remain in full force until death.

Our biggest friend in all of this is our Catholic faith. It is there for us through the Holy Mass, through Our Lord Jesus, through Our Blessed Mother and through the examples and intercessions of so many great saints, reinforced every day by prayers from our family and friends. In fact, I did attend Mass this morning and I had a bit of an epiphany. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself when I realized I had been given a Christmas gift from God Himself.

This gift is my ill wife afflicted with a disease that is unstoppable and incurable. She is foremost God’s child, and now she needs someone to take care of her just as she did years ago when she was a child. We met at church and were married in church. An unlikely couple, I know that God brought us together. Maybe this is why. Because during the Christmas season of 2014 I realized that besides a wife, HE has given me one of HIS children to care for. I will do my best to make Him proud. I will also do my best to keep us laughing. It is all GOOD.

MERRY CHRISTMAS
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* In case you do not know this, Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia are NOT the same thing. Alzheimer’s is the number one cause of dementia but there are over 150 different causes.

Copyright Larry Peterson 2014

One area of writing craft that doesn’t get a lot of attention is that of writing transitions. You’ve gotten to the end of a scene, or maybe just to the middle, and the characters need to move to a different location, or perhaps some time must pass. How do we accomplish that in a way that moves the story forward and also keeps the reader’s interest?

I admit to hitting spots like this and getting stumped. I know what is coming up, but can’t quite figure out how to make it happen on the page. Sometimes I just skip the transition, leave a space or type “needs something” in red, and go on. When I come back, the answer is often clear and I can add, then revise and move on.

Deconstructing transitions can help. Ask questions of yourself or the characters. What needs to happen next? What is a logical way of getting there? How can I as author make the “getting there” part compelling? Can I reveal characterization? Can I set a tone? Can I use an active verb? What word choices will help me create the imaginary situation that I hope my reader pictures and feels? How can I do this in an unobtrusive way?

A simple solution for time shifts is to double space between scenes. In more complex time situations, a timing cue may be necessary, i.e., a day, date, or time as a header at the beginning of a chapter. As in any literary technique, get the most bang for your buck with each word.

For instance, in Hijacked, my first novel, the female protagonist is a pilot. I purposely used weather cues that a pilot would notice to alert the reader to the time shifts. The setting became a vehicle for those transitions: A thunderstorm to indicate that summer had arrived, the brilliant color of fall foliage as seen from the air to denote autumn, the sight of malls (again, from the air) engulfed in oceans of cars just before Christmas. I used those opportunities to deepen the heroine’s character, i.e., how she felt about what was going on in her life at each of those seasons, and to move the story forward, i.e., her musings about past events or how to proceed with relationships. Is there a unique aspect of one of your characters or your setting that might serve to assist with transitions?

In more complex time situations, a timing cue may be necessary, i.e., a day, date, or time as a header at the beginning of a chapter. I used this technique in Unholy Bonds, the sequel to Hijacked. Create a timeline outside of the book as a reference; it will help keep things straight. This idea is especially helpful in creating tension in a novel of suspense. Conversely, it can indicate the passage of long periods of time and slow the pace of a more introspective novel.

Within a chapter or scene, your goal is to move the characters around without creating a sense of plastic figures being manipulated by the author. Describe their movements in terms of their personalities and within the context of the emotion felt or displayed at that moment. Give them reasons, valid ones, for going where they need to go. Use transition words (then, next, after, etc.) if you need to, but keep them to a minimum or the story begins to read like an instruction manual.

Avoid the “grocery list” approach. Too many details getting the character from one spot to another risks losing the reader’s interest. Keep only the details that move the story forward or reveal something about the character. If they need to get out of the kitchen, into the car and down the street before the next interesting thing happens, try to get that done in a sentence or two—not six.

For instance: He dropped the milk carton on the counter and sprinted to the door, grabbing a coat on the way to his vintage Harley. A roar of noise and black exhaust carried him away from safety and into the unknown of danger. Where is Patty?

Okay, I know that’s sort of hokey, but I established a whole lot of stuff in a few sentences and got him out of the house and down the street. Our hero drinks milk and rides a vintage Harley (potentially contradictory and character revealing information.) His bike belches black smoke, so it might need some maintenance. He’s leaving a place of safety and heading into danger, which makes him brave or impetuous – or both. And as he’s moved from one place to another, he’s (hopefully) kept our interest and created a sense of urgency, both on the page and within the reader, who now needs to keep reading.

What we avoided was: He picked the carton of milk up and sniffed it, but then set it down. It wasn’t sour, but a thought crossed his mind. He hadn’t heard from Patty yet, and she had promised to call him when she arrived at work. Where was she, anyway? Concerned, he walked quickly down the hall where he picked up his keys and his coat, then checked his pocket for his wallet. Satisfied that he had everything he needed, he stepped out of the house, closed the door and locked it, then took the three steps from the porch to the sidewalk. His motorcycle was parked on the driveway, and he walked over to it, then picked up his helmet and put it on. (Are you bored yet? I am! And it’s so painful I’m not going to write any more! But I bet you get the idea!)

Many times, the transition doesn’t need to be exact. Sometimes you can simply start the next sentence or scene with a thought in the character’s POV that indicates a change has taken place, then move on from there. Flashbacks followed by “leap forwards” can work, too, but use caution. Overuse or poor execution of flashbacks cause more problems than they solve.

This is a good time to get out your favorite novel and read a bit of it, paying close attention to how the author treated transitions. How do you handle transitions? Do you have suggestions beyond what I’ve addressed here? Please share!

Celebrating Our First Christmas with Alzheimer’s Disease: Laughter Allowed

Transitions – How to get your character from here to there

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