Tag Archive for: family

Meet Venerable Adele Bonolis

Meet Venerable Adele Bonolis

Adele helped prostitutes reclaim a life of dignity

Adele Bonolis was born in Milan on August 14, 1909. She was the youngest of four children and was born into a family where religion was not practiced. Still, the basic principles of it were adhered to. Her mom and dad were “believers” but non-participants in church activities, including the Mass. However, they did have their children baptized, and Adele was christened in the Basilica of St. Ambrogio.

Adele became a member of Women’s Youth, which was part of Catholic Action. This is where she received her primary education in the teachings of Catholicism. Adele attended classical high school, maintained good grades, and received her diploma. She then graduated from the Faculty of Letters and Philosophy at the Catholic University of the Sacred Heart. After graduating, she became a high school religion teacher.

 

Her father told he not to look at the prostitute—she kept on watching

A childhood encounter with a prostitute was a seminal moment in the life of Adele. She was with her dad and saw a prostitute going by. Her father told her not to look at the woman, but Adele did not hear him. She was mesmerized by the woman’s appearance and kept watching her. This was a turning point for Adele. It was that brief moment that helped her decide that once she grew up, she would help such women regain their lost dignity and become socially redeemed. She wanted to help give them a chance for a new life. She had no idea how this would be done.

Adele demonstrated determination and possessed unmistakable leadership qualities. In 1947, she began directing a summer camp for needy children in the poverty-stricken town of Lecco. Then she was put in charge of overseeing a parish level group of the Women’s Youth of Catholic Action. Her natural ability to coordinate and manage this group led  to her working in the diocesan center with women at risk and, before long, in the city of Milan. It is here that her plans to help the forgotten prostitutes begin to take shape.

 

The Merlin Law outlaws prostitution and brothels

In 1957, following the new Merlin Law, houses of prostitution were permitted to be closed down. Prostitution itself was not outlawed, but brothels were. One of these, located in Montano Lucino, became a reception center for former prostitutes, the Maria Assunta Center for Female Orientation. That was followed by the Casa San Paolo opening in Vedano, the Casa Maria dell Grazie in Cibrone, and the Villa Salus in Lenno.

Adele’s compassion extended to other categories of women, such as former prisoners and the mentally ill. She believed that “our faith commits us to firmly believe in the value of the human person and that no one’s past can be sufficient to cancel this mysterious yet real value.”

 

She demanded a family atmosphere in all of her homes

Slowly but surely, volunteers signed on with her. But first, they had to commit to the concept of “rehabilitating love, going through the reconstruction of the person.” In her homes, she wanted a family atmosphere where everyone helps each other.  She believed that this type of environment leads to the person’s rehabilitation and helps get them prepared for reintroduction back into society. At times there were up to thirty people staying in her homes.

 

She fought cancer as best she could

Adele began experiencing a decline in health, and it was discovered that she had an intestinal tumor. She continued in her ministry as long as she could, but eventually her illness prevented her from continuing. She died on August 11, 1980. At her funeral, Monsignor Libero Tresoldi said, “Approaching Adele Bonolis, the impression was that of one who found in her a point of support, a place of refuge, a hope to proceed along the path. She had always been concerned with behaving like the sail of a boat looking for the breath of wind and letting itself be led by it.”

On January 21, 2021, Pope Francis declared Adele Bonolis a woman of “Heroic Virtue,” and she became Venerable Adele Bonolis. Her cause for beatification continues.

 

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Copyright 2023 Larry Peterson
Image: Pexels

Loneliness and Thanksgiving: Thoughts from a Catholic man

God is the answer, because without Him there is no hope

By Larry Peterson

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. (St. Teresa of Calcutta)

This will be the third Thanksgiving since my wife passed away, and when you become widowed, there is an inescapable loneliness factor that enters your life. But I have learned that loneliness has no boundaries. It reaches out for everyone and captures many of the unsuspecting, including those who are seemingly happy, contented, and successful, dragging them into a world of hidden misery and often depression.

However, many who have experienced loss manage to bounce back and find contentment, peace, and even love again. Others cannot — why is that? The common denominator seems to be that those people who have God in their lives were never alone at all. Those who do not, remain alone. The first consequence of rejecting God is the loss of hope. They have allowed hope to be erased from their spirit.

The results of losing hope are devastating. In fact, the loneliness factor in the United States has reached epidemic proportions. Here are a few statistics that show how losing hope has affected our nation. Loss of hope leads to despair, and the ones affected most by this loss are in Generation Z: those who are in the 18 to 22-year-old range. I have grandchildren older than that. The entire concept of these young people, fresh from adolescence and beginning adulthood, having lost hope is so sad. How can this be?

Cigna referenced a “Loneliness Index” which shows that loneliness has become rampant in the United States. This worldwide health services company used the UCLA Loneliness Scale  (yes, they have a loneliness scale), which is a 20-item questionnaire designed to determine a person’s social isolation and their subjective feelings. This evaluator is used frequently to track and measure loneliness. Some of the results were astonishing. This is from their report of May 1, 2018:

  • 47 percent of Americans sometimes or always feel alone
  • 27 percent of Americans feel no one understands them
  • 40 percent feel that their relationships have no meaning and feel isolated
  • 20 percent feel they feel close to no one and have no one to talk to
  • Amazingly, Generation Z (people 18 to 22) are the loneliest generation. How heartbreaking is that?
  • Social media users have a 43.5 percent loneliness factor, which was comparable to the 41.7 percent for those who do not use social media.

Isn’t it interesting that nowhere is the name of God mentioned in these findings? And nowhere is the importance of the traditional family considered. The numbers are mind-boggling. We are a nation of almost 330 million people. If 47% say they feel “alone” that is nearly half the country. We only have to go back 25 years to the early “90s to see the rapid decline in the absence of hope.

Since then, there has been a 58% decline in club meetings, a 43% drop in family dinners, and children have their playtime regulated, depriving them of natural social development. People use their phones to message each other, apply for jobs, get interviewed, quit jobs, break up with their boyfriends or girlfriends, file divorce papers, and do all sorts of interactions without having to go face to face with a person, never saying one word.

Getting back to God and family would be akin to putting the linchpin back into the hub of life. Then, people, kids included, might be taught that they can turn to Jesus and never be alone. They might be taught to think of His words:

And behold, I am with you always, until the end of this age. (Matthew 28:20)

We must count our blessings on Thanksgiving, especially knowing that more than half of all Americans still believe in and honor God in their lives and that we have the freedom to do it. This Thanksgiving, millions upon millions of us will pray together, thanking God for all we have. We should also pray for all those who do not have hope in their lives. We know it can always be reignited and prayer can be the kindling used to fire up the hope lying dormant in so many.

God is just waiting to be asked to light the match.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Copyright © Larry Peterson 2019

Alzheimer’s Keeps Reminding Me Why I Love being Catholic

I have written about my wife, Marty’s, Alzheimer’s Disease several times. This is another. It was unplanned and spontaneous, triggered by the unique world she and I have come to share together.

I was trying to write something but I was stuck in “neutral.” No pencil scratching, no pen sliding, no keyboard clicking. Then Marty came in and stood there just looking at me and not saying anything. I smiled at her and said, “What’s going on?”

She shakes her head and says, “I really do not feel like going to work tomorrow.” (She has not worked in almost ten years.)

I nonchalantly reply, “Okay, then don’t.”

“Larry, please don’t start with me. You know I have bills to pay.”

“Well then, I’ll call in for you. I’ll tell them you are not feeling good.”

She quickly throws a curve at me. I back away, surprised at the sudden diversion. Raising her voice, she says, “We had better get a few things straight. I have standards and I am not going to be living in sin. I cannot be living here if we are not married.”

I did not know what that had to do with her ‘job” but I mentally bobbed and weaved and circled around. Quickly I said, “We are married.”

She was stunned. She stared at me and I stared back. A moment passed and she said, “We are?”

“Yes, Marty, we have been married for ten years.”

“I suppose you know this for a fact? How can you be sure?”

“We have the papers to prove it.”

I quickly said an emergency “Hail Mary” asking for help. God knew I was in over my head and immediately sent one of His special people. Maybe it was St. Therese or St. Joseph or maybe St. Martha. I really did not care who it was but just like that I had a “thought.” (These folks do not fool around when sent on a mission.)

I had her sit down on the sofa and wait for me. I headed back to my “office” (some may call it a man-cave) and began rifling through the file cabinet in the corner. The top drawer is stuffed with all sorts of “important” papers and I knew that somewhere amongst the mass of disorganized stuff was our marriage license. I started scratching away, peeling papers apart.

I did not keep track of the time but when I looked at the mess of papers I had strewn about it must have been fifteen minutes. Then I hit pay dirt. I found our marriage license. I was sure this would prove to her once and for all that we were, in fact, married.

I hurried back to the sofa and to the woman who immediately asked if I had just gotten home. “Yes,” I shouted. “And look what I have.”

The Pinellas County Marriage License was too confusing for her to understand. The print was small and even though our names were legible and the paper was emblazoned with the words, “Marriage Record,” it did not convince her. I realized she needed “Catholic” proof. That was why she had used the words “living in sin.” Now we come to why I wrote this in the first place.

I slowly headed back to the file cabinet to put the marriage license away. But I had not noticed when pulling the marriage license out that behind it was the 8 X 11 marriage certificate that the church had given us. It was behind the license the whole time. I could not believe it.

It was not a legal document but it was a BEAUTIFUL CATHOLIC document. It had our names on it. On the left side was a Cross with connected wedding bands connected to it. The church’s name was there and it was signed by the deacon and the pastor. It was also perfect for framing.

I had an 11 x 14 frame that was unused. Ten minutes later I brought it out to her. I had her sit next to me on the sofa. “Are you ready?” I asked.

“For what?”

I held this framed certificate up in front of her. She stared and stared at it and then she looked at me and began to cry. She put her head on my shoulder and cried some more. We have used the Hail Mary and the Rosary to help us over some rough Alzheimer’s moments. This time the purely Catholic marriage document was the answer to the prayer. It now hangs in the Florida room and she can see it every day anytime she needs to. Damn—I love being Catholic.

Copyright 2017 Larry Peterson