Tag Archive for: hope

Loneliness and Thanksgiving: Thoughts from a Catholic man

God is the answer, because without Him there is no hope

By Larry Peterson

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. (St. Teresa of Calcutta)

This will be the third Thanksgiving since my wife passed away, and when you become widowed, there is an inescapable loneliness factor that enters your life. But I have learned that loneliness has no boundaries. It reaches out for everyone and captures many of the unsuspecting, including those who are seemingly happy, contented, and successful, dragging them into a world of hidden misery and often depression.

However, many who have experienced loss manage to bounce back and find contentment, peace, and even love again. Others cannot — why is that? The common denominator seems to be that those people who have God in their lives were never alone at all. Those who do not, remain alone. The first consequence of rejecting God is the loss of hope. They have allowed hope to be erased from their spirit.

The results of losing hope are devastating. In fact, the loneliness factor in the United States has reached epidemic proportions. Here are a few statistics that show how losing hope has affected our nation. Loss of hope leads to despair, and the ones affected most by this loss are in Generation Z: those who are in the 18 to 22-year-old range. I have grandchildren older than that. The entire concept of these young people, fresh from adolescence and beginning adulthood, having lost hope is so sad. How can this be?

Cigna referenced a “Loneliness Index” which shows that loneliness has become rampant in the United States. This worldwide health services company used the UCLA Loneliness Scale  (yes, they have a loneliness scale), which is a 20-item questionnaire designed to determine a person’s social isolation and their subjective feelings. This evaluator is used frequently to track and measure loneliness. Some of the results were astonishing. This is from their report of May 1, 2018:

  • 47 percent of Americans sometimes or always feel alone
  • 27 percent of Americans feel no one understands them
  • 40 percent feel that their relationships have no meaning and feel isolated
  • 20 percent feel they feel close to no one and have no one to talk to
  • Amazingly, Generation Z (people 18 to 22) are the loneliest generation. How heartbreaking is that?
  • Social media users have a 43.5 percent loneliness factor, which was comparable to the 41.7 percent for those who do not use social media.

Isn’t it interesting that nowhere is the name of God mentioned in these findings? And nowhere is the importance of the traditional family considered. The numbers are mind-boggling. We are a nation of almost 330 million people. If 47% say they feel “alone” that is nearly half the country. We only have to go back 25 years to the early “90s to see the rapid decline in the absence of hope.

Since then, there has been a 58% decline in club meetings, a 43% drop in family dinners, and children have their playtime regulated, depriving them of natural social development. People use their phones to message each other, apply for jobs, get interviewed, quit jobs, break up with their boyfriends or girlfriends, file divorce papers, and do all sorts of interactions without having to go face to face with a person, never saying one word.

Getting back to God and family would be akin to putting the linchpin back into the hub of life. Then, people, kids included, might be taught that they can turn to Jesus and never be alone. They might be taught to think of His words:

And behold, I am with you always, until the end of this age. (Matthew 28:20)

We must count our blessings on Thanksgiving, especially knowing that more than half of all Americans still believe in and honor God in their lives and that we have the freedom to do it. This Thanksgiving, millions upon millions of us will pray together, thanking God for all we have. We should also pray for all those who do not have hope in their lives. We know it can always be reignited and prayer can be the kindling used to fire up the hope lying dormant in so many.

God is just waiting to be asked to light the match.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Copyright © Larry Peterson 2019

My Yearly Faith Challenge: The Annual Prostate Exam

October was Breast Cancer Awareness Month across the nation. This is a good and noble fight and I am glad that “pink” is everywhere down to the shoes and wrist bands the NFL players wear to the pink bats MLB players use. But I would like to share about a cancer that is not talked about very much. I would like to share about the  second leading cancer killer among men–prostate cancer. (Lung cancer is the leading killer of both men and women in the USA). The following is personal aka”about me.”

I remember it like it was yesterday. The doctor waltzed into the exam room and matter of factly said, “Well, you have a cancer in the prostate.”

As he stood there flipping through and staring at the sheets on his clipboard, I was thinking—Huh? What? Wait a minute—Huh? Then came the frightened stare as I looked at this guy who in the briefest of moments had changed my life with unexpected news about ME. Cancer? No way!

It had not been a knockout punch but I had surely been sly-rapped and dazed. He calmed me down and, as I slowly cleared my head, he said, “Don’t worry, Larry. We did twelve cuts when we biopsied and there was cancer only in one. I think we found it early. I recommend you get it out now and you will most likely be finished with it.”

That was in March of 2007. On May 10 of that year I underwent a radical prostatectomy. Robotic surgery was brand new and unavailable to me so I had it done the “old-fashioned” way, by hand. They took it out. All of it. I have been cancer free ever since, with some residual side effects (another story for another day).  So what is my faith challenge?

My annual checkup is every September. Every year, as the day approaches, the anxiety  in me builds. I cannot help it. I have never forgotten that initial announcement about my having “a” cancer. Anyway, the protocol is that I go for a PSA one week week and the following week I see the Doc for the results.

The results  have to be .003, yes, ZERO, and then I can breathe easy and go home for another year. So far, the results have been ZERO, nine years in a row. That is considered ‘probably’ cured. Praise the Lord, right?

That is my challenge. I like to consider myself a man of faith. “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart,” right? I have this illusion that I do, but when it comes to this damn yearly test I get weak in the knees. I can’t shake it. Maybe I am a “man of faith” only when everything is hunky-dory. In other words, my “faith” is not nearly as strong as I may think it is. Am I a faith wuss?

I don’t know. I just want to go to the doctor like I’m going for a haircut and not give it a second thought. I tell myself God has my back. I think I believe that no matter what happens, it fits into God’s plan. Jesus loves me, I’m sure of it. So whatever is my problem? Is my faith journey all smoke and mirrors?

Here are a few numbers. One in seven American men will have prostate cancer during his lifetime. It is the second leading cause of cancer death among American men. Every 20 minutes another American man dies of prostate cancer, which factors out to 71 deaths per day. That means 26,120 men will die this year from this type of cancer. Early detection is the key to survival.

Next March I will be ten years out from my diagnosis. I should be kicking my heels and jumping for joy. Don’t get me wrong; I do thank God every day for my good health and cancer-free existence. I just think that I should be able to ignore the possible downside to my test results.

Maybe it is all part of the human equation. We just can’t help recoiling when confronted with our own mortality. My faith has, without a doubt, carried me through this and all aspects of my life. I have been blessed and I hope the Good Lord has patience for a faith wuss such as me.

There is one glaring fact that is as obvious to me as the sun shining on a clear summer day. Until I draw my last breath, my faith journey will always be a work in progress and I shall never take it for granted.

By the way–the color for prostate cancer awareness is pale blue or powder blue. Not many people know that.

© Larry Peterson 2016. All Rights Reserved

Another Secular Triumph–Helping Laura Kill Herself

Her name is Laura and she is 24 years old. She is a healthy woman who lives in Belgium. She wants to die. Why does she want to die? Because, as she says, “Life, that’s not for me.”

My initial thoughts were that this young woman is severely depressed or on drugs. She is only 24 years old and healthy. She has a whole life ahead of her. Why would she want to die? Plus, this story is all over the print and broadcast media. Why isn’t someone helping her?

Isn’t there anyone who has offered to give her the necessary counseling, spiritual guidance, or antidepressants to help her see that her own “life” is not her enemy? Is there no one who might convince her that her life is a one-of-a-kind, precious gift? Is there no one to prevail upon her that her life is rarer than the rarest diamond and more valuable than all the world’s riches combined? Cannot someone show her that she is the only one in the history of the world who is SHE or will ever be SHE? Well, my friends, Laura lives in Belgium and apparently in that country not too many people give a damn about the value or sanctity of life.

In February of 2014, Belgium approved legalized euthanasia for children. I believe this supposedly sophisticated, civilized, and pompous nation has earned the title “The Great Nation of Self-Annihilators.” In Belgium you are witnessing Nihilism in all of its twisted “splendor.” This is encapsulated in the total rejection of the value of life as witnessed in the upcoming assisted suicide of Laura.

How sad, how disgraceful, how blatantly sinful. Doctors have given Laura the go-ahead to kill herself. They will help her to be “successful.” Why would doctors do this? In Belgium many of them feel that life and death are really not such a big deal in the first place. Laura says that she has been considering suicide since the age of six. Are you kidding me? She says that she was ONLY six when she started thinking that she “didn’t want to live at all.” It is hard to even fathom such thoughts bouncing around inside the head of a six-year-old who has not even reached the age of reason.

Laura has had psychological problems her entire life. In high school she was a “cutter,” self-mutilating her arms. Her father had been an abusive drunk and her mother left when Laura was a toddler. She grew up with her grandparents who loved her dearly, but maybe the trauma of her parents’ behavior was too much for her and drove her into depression. It does not matter. What matters is that this child had problems and no one gave a damn. She was left to grow with a festering and debilitating sense of “nothingness.” Now they want to help her kill herself. This is Nihilism run amok.

Laura has told doctors that she needs to kill herself because, as she says, “life, that’s not for me.” They readily agreed and Laura has now set a date for her death injection to be administered in her apartment. The actual date has not been publicized. She is planning her funeral and writing final words to be read. Doctors and mental health professionals are happily helping her along on her death journey. I cannot get it out of my head that she is only 24 years old and healthy and doctors are gladly helping her to kill herself simply because she asked them to help her do it. Whatever has happened to the moral fiber of people around the world?

Secularism has infested the entire world with its self-fulfilling message of false happiness. Belgium, a country that is 75% Catholic, voted 2 to 1 to pass the child-euthanasia law. The bishops in the country begged them not to vote for it. It did not matter. The attitude of many people is: what do God’s representatives know about real life? For that matter, what does God know about real life? If poor Laura wants to kill herself to be happy, why not. And then they go to church. WHATEVER!

Well now, if you do not have God in your life and believe that death leads to nothing then you probably find comfort in believing that “nothing” cannot hurt you. It follows that being dead will make you happy. How sad and perverse is this? But it proves one thing. While the secular world fights to eliminate God from our lives, it is God who is desperately needed back in their lives. For with God comes Hope and Love and when a person has that Faith in their lives they are not asking compliant strangers with fancy diplomas to help them die. Especially when they are only 24 and filled with life.

© Larry Peterson 2015. All Rights Reserved